Articles
Try Not To Think About This: Here Are 5 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Covers That Have Brought Your Dad To Completion
The old timer may be confined to an urn now, but he sure had his fun with the Swimsuit Edition. Here are five covers that sent him “pine-tarring” the old
Report: Throwing Darts Easier Than Catching Darts
Our team of a dozen experts confirmed Tuesday that — after exhaustive research, lab work, and lots of blood — throwing darts is, in almost every case, easier than catching
Want Gains? Which Pre-Workout Mid-Workout Post-Workout Powder Should You Constantly Shovel Into Your Weak Fucking Face?
Hey, bro. You lift? You powder? You lift but you don’t powder? Dude . . . You do know powder’s key, right? You have to be ingesting powder at all
Breaking: Gritty Bends Over On Ice To Give Birth To Smaller Amniotic-Fluid-Soaked Gritty
Onlookers at Wells Fargo Center were given a rare, beautiful glimpse into the natural world on Wednesday, as beloved Flyers mascot Gritty paused from riling up the crowd in the
America Decides: Gritty Overwhelmingly Wins Nevada Primary
In an unprecedented turn of events, Philadelphia Flyer mascot “Gritty” swept the Nevada primaries this past week to earn the state’s nomination for both Republican and Democratic parties in what
Long Live The King: Gym Teacher Wows Class By Dunking On 9-Foot Hoop
Second-grade students ran wild in disbelief after seeing legendary gym teacher Mr. Salisbury put on an unforgettable spectacle by jamming home a towering, show-stopping nine-foot dunk during this morning’s gym
‘Icing’ And Three Other Hockey Penalties Named After Cake
As all hockey fans and Canadians are aware, Lord Stanley, after whom the NHL’s infamous championship trophy was affectionately named, was not only a steward of the game and a
Tennis Ball Boy Promoted To Junior Financial Advisor
Owing to his bland demeanor, lack of artistic aspirations, and surprising absence of Jewish heritage, local Burning Tree Country Club ball boy, Fletcher Mallison, 22, was promoted Sunday to Junior
Opinion: Goalies Should Have Access To A Crossbow
Growing up a young lad in Regina, Saskatchewan, hockey has always been in my blood. But what I noticed today from the comfort of my couch while watching Hockey Night
Bleak U.S. Health Report Concludes America Should Have Better Sumo Wrestling Team
A damning new report released today by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention concludes that despite being the most qualified nation on earth, America continues to lag behind other
Disappointing: These Power Rankings Are About Hockey
Every hardcore fan loves a methodically calculated set of power rankings, and it is with the deepest regret that we announce these power rankings are about hockey. It’s obviously disappointing
Report: Rub Dirt On It
Breaking news out of the world of sports medicine; it is being reported that rather than laying there crying about being injured, athletes should instead rub some dirt on it
The Best Martial Arts For Pregnant Women
With babies in their wombs, pregnant women are much larger targets for all attackers—from common muggers to hordes of embittered, machete-wielding samurai Nazis. To defend themselves and their lineage, martial