Oops: Rob Gronkowski Fails Concussion Protocol While Perfectly Healthy

While Rob Gronkowski’s status for next season remains in doubt, team doctors confirmed that Rob Gronkowski failed concussion protocol in a standard offseason check up again despite being perfectly healthy.

The Buccaneers tight end resisted the initial physical exam, only relenting after quarterback Tom Brady assured Gronkowski they would eat a mountain of ice cream afterward. Upon entering the physician’s waiting room being held by Brady, the five-time Pro Bowl selection’s behavior turned erratic, with Gronkowski grabbing and attempting to eat the office goldfish while saying “fishy go down-down!”

According to a source close to the matter, the medical staff performed a routine concussion protocol on Gronkowski, with the tight end repeatedly telling the physician to use the toy doctor kit he brought from home to check for brain “boo-boos.” When the physician attempted to assuage the tight end’s request by using a toy stethoscope, Gronkowski pointed to his head and reminded the team that “my heart is up there, silly.”

“Doctor isn’t even really that scary because Doctor said I can tell everyone how brave I was,” Gronkowski was reportedly overheard telling the Buccaneers pillow pet tucked in his arm.

Though an MRI demonstrated no neurological activity, the team athletic staff felt Gronkowski could be cleared for next season action right away, with one doctor kneeling beside him to summarize the visit.

“We just had to confirm you had a brain under that noggin fella, so here’s a big red lollipop, a bright smiley-face sticker, and an awesome Paw Patrol bandage, so go have fun out there next season, buddy!”