Report: Giants Bench Daniel Jones In Favor Of Hiking Ball Into Empty Backfield

The New York Giants have just announced they will be benching their $160 million dollar starting quarterback in favor of simply having their center snap the ball blindly into the backfield.

“The data is all there,” said Giants head coach Brian Daboll. “We as an organization have looked at the latest state-of-the-art AI analytics, and have determined that our chances of having the ball connect with our receivers would be greater if we snapped the ball to no one, rather than Daniel Jones.”

“We believe the chances of the ball bouncing off a random object or player and into the hands of Malik Nabers is greater than if Daniel was to throw it to him. It’s just a more realistic and opportune expected outcome,” Daboll further explained.

“I want my team to win. We gotta win games, even if that means starting the entire unmanned backfield at QB1 instead of me,” Giants quarterback Daniel Jones explained. “Yeah, sure, it’s disappointing, but I can’t compete with the experience and talent of a completely empty part of the field.”

As a pledge for next gametime, several Giants players are expected to be enthusiastically yelling “that’s my QB” while pointing to the blank, open space behind the 40 yard line.