Roger Goodell Asks Adam Silver For Secret To Befriending Black Athletes

Boldly crossing league lines, NFL commissioner Roger Goodell asked NBA commissioner Adam Silver for the secret to how he got black athletes to like him and want to be his friend. 

“I’m the head of the league. These guys should trust me,” said Goodell, who has no idea whatsoever why “the black ones” don’t like him. 

Goodell asked Silver how he gets LeBron to pretend to hang out with him, saying that he added Lamar on Snapchat after he wouldn’t call him back. 

“I mean, that relationship is just for the cameras, right?” said Goodell, adding that he doesn’t have this problem with the white athletes. “I just don’t get why the black players don’t like me. They used my house to film Get Out, for Christ’s sake! That’s MY house!” 

Goodell said he will consider Tyler Perry for an owner if that will aid in his popularity and then speculated that Silver either must have some cool secret handshake with his players, take the teams to see the new Barbershop movies, or lied about voting for Obama. 

Silver said that his secret to befriending black athletes is simply empowering them and treating them with kindness, to which Goodell responded, “So I need to lock my players up in a bubble too? Great idea.”  

Goodell then reportedly interrupted a Falcons practice to read Migos lyrics off Google and announce, “OJ? Could be innocent. I mean, who am I to say?”