5 Hall Of Fame Quarterbacks Who Completely Squandered Their Javelin Potential

NFL Hall of Fame bronze busts are an honor for those who shed blood, sweat, and tears on the gridiron, but they also represent a comprehensive list of those select few who could have and should have been all-time great javelin throwers. Here’s Sports Riot’s list of the top five NFL quarterbacks who wasted their lives:

1. DAN MARINO: This sellout squandered 17 years not winning Super Bowls with the Dolphins when he should have been focused on throwing spears. Javelin is a prestigious sport that’s been around since 708 B.C. Football is relatively new, and Miami has only mattered since the ‘80s.
2. PATRICK MAHOMES: This future Hall of Famer could have revolutionized the way we, as a species, throw the javelin. Instead, he’s completing no-look shovel passes in Missouri. I guess the world will have to settle for watching another dual-threat quarterback in between commercial breaks.
3. TERRY BRADSHAW: The stress of working in the cold cost this man his beautiful head of hair. But that’s no problem with javelin throwing. It’s a summer sport. Instead of winning four Super Bowls in the dead of winter, this blonde bomber could’ve won Gold Medals in the summer for his entire country instead of just some rinky-dink town in southern Pennsylvania.
4. JOE NAMATH: Nice fur coat Broadway Joe. Did you kill that yourself with a fucking spear? No. You paid for it like a chump with money from the NY Jets. One Super Bowl MVP is nice and may make you an American sex symbol, but some Javelin gold medals would’ve made you an international sex GOD.
5. PEYTON MANNING: Omaha! Omaha! If only he called an audible and switched to the sport of sports: Javelin. Peyton Manning the javelin thrower would never be caught dead shilling Papa John’s. He’d be a true blue Domino’s man. Oh well. Enjoy working for a racist.

Stay subscribed for next week’s list of five NBA first rounders who squandered their porn careers.