I’ve never been more passionate about a cause. An entire month dedicated to big natural titties? Hell yeah, here to help.
-Jerry Jones on Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Sure, I’ve fucked big-blonde-boobed Dallas whores. But honestly, I think more about those big-blonde-boobed Dallas whores that fucked me.
-Jerry Jones closing words to University of Texas graduating class
I know what you’re wondering and yes, the curtains do match the drapes
-Mark Davis Las Vegas Raiders owner
If I Did It.
-Ben Roethlisberger on his summer reading plans
Play your cards right kid, and this could all be yours someday.
-Joe Flacco showing Zack Wilson his model train collection
GRONK. GRONK. GRONK. GRONK. GRONK. GRONK. Dang it.
-Rob Gronkowski playing Wordle
Who thinks I can suck my own dick?
-Robert Kraft wearing a wire during a Baltimore sting operation
All of this nonsense is not what I’m about.
-Kyler Murray on being told by he’s too short to ride Space Mountain at Disney World
I’ll be back better than ever next year, you can bet on that. Wait, don’t print that last part.
-Calvin Ridley on his NFL future after being suspended for gambling
Now here’s a guy.
-Cris Collinsworth drunk in a hotel room locking eyes with his naked reflection in a bottle of Jameson
Lucky! I wish my doctor would prescribe me a dog!
-Rob Gronkowski after meeting a blind person
Sorry doc, I don’t speak Italian.
– Rob Gronkowski after being asked about his genitalia