Quotes

–Roger Goodell, playing Marry, Fuck, Kill

–Aaron Rodgers, on why he likes to be alone

–Tom Brady, explaining to Rob Gronkowski where the football comes from

–Bill Belichick

–Jerry Jones, on Breast Cancer Awareness Month

–Matt Ryan, on stopping at railroad crossings to salute train conductors

–Joe Buck, yelling the wrong name during sex

–Dick Butkus, on his cousin Penis McRimjob

–Roger Goodell, on former NFL players donating their brains to science

–Aaron Rodgers

–DeShaun Watson

–Roger Goodell

–Rob Gronkowski, on joining the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles