Quotes

–Josh Allen

–Jim Harbaugh, currently hacking into the servers at Washington University’s campus

–Trevor Lawrence

–Justin Fields, before saying ‘fuck’ for 30 minutes straight

–Russell Wilson, getting on his knees and praying for the slow, agonizing death of Sean Payton

–Justin Tucker, “visualizing” before field goal attempts

–Urban Meyer, on which campus frat quad he’s not allowed back at

–Mark Davis, stepping down as Las Vegas Raiders Owner effective immediately

–Jalen Hurts, on Eagles fans

–DeShaun Watson

–Rob Gronkowski, after meeting a Golden Retriever with a football

–Jerry Jones, on Christmas

–Rob Gronkowski, on Santa