Quotes
“New fuckboi ain’t got the BDE, but it don’t matter when he goin’ down on me.”
–Virginia McCaskey, Chicago Bears owner, on her new 79-year-old sidepiece
November 18, 2023
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“There’s a volcano in my butthole and everyone’s invited!”
–Andy Reid, introducing himself on a speed date
November 18, 2023
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“Farah Fawcett’s magnificent mama milkers. Those yum yum guns still haunt me to this day.”
–Jerry Jones, on what the Cowboy Stadium’s WiFi password is
November 18, 2023
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“Only strong bitches survive.”
-One-hundred-year-old- Bears owner Virginia McCaskey, on out-living the Queen
November 18, 2023
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“Not since Jake from State Farm was white.”
–Jon Gruden, the last time he felt comfortable speaking his mind
November 18, 2023
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October 31, 2023
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Play your cards right kid, and this could all be yours someday.
-Joe Flacco showing Zack Wilson his model train collection
July 13, 2022
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Who thinks I can suck my own dick?
-Robert Kraft wearing a wire during a Baltimore sting operation
June 9, 2022
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“Football is ten percent mental, ten percent physical, and eighty percent psychosexual.”
-Urban Meyer
May 2, 2022
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“My teammates call me dull. So I invited them to a picture-framing party. It got pretty wild.”
-Matt Ryan
November 22, 2021
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November 21, 2021
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“I don’t like taking the team plane back because you have to wear a mask while getting a lap dance.”
-Urban Meyer
November 20, 2021
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“Just take it one game at a time and see what happens.”
-Rob Gronkowski, on escalating tensions between China and Taiwan
November 19, 2021
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