FOOTBALL

I’ve never been more passionate about a cause. An entire month dedicated to big natural titties? Hell yeah, here to help.
-Jerry Jones on Breast Cancer Awareness Month

Welcome to rookie mini camp. Start jogging now and you’ll enjoy a two-minute head start.
– Bill Belichick loading a bolt-action rifle

Haters make a lot of noise, but I just block it out.
– Odell Beckham Jr. on the birth of his first child

Adam Schefter Issues Preemptive Apology For Whatever He’s About To Say About Next Athlete’s Death
Following public outcry over his tweet about the death of Pittsburgh Steelers QB Dwyane Haskins, ESPN’s Adam Schefter issued a long-awaited formal preemptive apology for whatever he’s about to say regarding the next major athlete death. “Composing

Proactive Lions First-Round Pick Starts Studying To Get Real Estate License
Miles Campbell grew up dreaming of playing in the NFL. Now, after the Detroit Lions selected him with their first-round pick, the college stalwart

Why, Though? Detroit Lions Just Announced Voluntary Rebrand To ‘Detroit Football Team’
When the 2022 season begins, fans with a watchful eye may notice an interesting change. Starting this offseason, the Detroit Lions will undergo a voluntary

Congress Allocates Billions for Philadelphia Eagles Fan Defense Spending
In response to adding Eagles fans to the UN earlier this week and truly seeing what they’re capable of, The Senate passed a $74.1 billion

5 Hall Of Fame NFL Quarterbacks Who Completely Squandered Their Javelin Career Potential
NFL Hall of Fame bronze busts are an honor for those who shed blood, sweat, and tears on the gridiron, but they also represent a comprehensive list of those

4 Key Takeaways From A Wild Night Out With The Guy In The Murray State Mascot Costume
We at Sports Riot like to think we’re a worldly bunch, but nothing could have prepared us for last week’s interview with Dunker the Murray State mascot. Here’s what we

Daniel Snyder Opens Up Franchise Of Scandal Escape Rooms
On top of owning an NFL franchise, the tirelessly creative Snyder has once again profited from his expert-level skill of escaping scandals by opening a chain of team-scandal-oriented escape room

Star Struck: I Just Met Ray Lewis At Knifepoint And Didn’t Know What To Say
It was Friday night in Miami and I rear-ended the Aston Martin in front of me. When I approached the other car to trade insurance information, out stepped former legendary