FOOTBALL
Stefon Diggs Grateful Most Patriots Fans Too Consistently Drunk To Remember He Used To Play For Rival Ream
“He had a missle crisis in his pants, too.”
–Virginia McCaskey, on her brief relationship with JFK
“Is Joy Taylor looking for employment??”
–Jerry Jones, frantically calling every number in his phone
Cam Skattebo Going To Do This Drive Helmetless
After his chatastrophic ankle injury last year, Giants fans have been eager to see how sophomore running back Cam Skattebo would look this season. However, when the Giants offense took
Returning ‘FOX NFL Sunday’ Staff Horrified To Realize They Left Gronk In Studio All Alone With The Lights Off
It had been over seven months since the Fox NFL Sunday hosts walked out of the studio doors following the completion of the ‘25-’26 season. So when Terry Bradshaw, Howie
Children Say Goodbye As Father Migrates To Den For Football Season
Even as Homo sapiens continue our evolutionary march forward, many return to an animal nature when called by the siren song of the NFL equinox. The children of local Chicago
Aaron Donald Officially Unretired After Grim Reaper Tasked Him With Collecting Brock Purdy
When Aaron Donald officially announced his return to football, fans assumed it was to help the Rams win another Super Bowl. However, it appears the 3x DPOY came back for
Browns Announce They Have Merged Watson And Sanders To Create Sex Pest Who Can’t Throw
Birthed out of the flames of the Cleveland River, the best scientists in Ohio created a being to finally fix their team’s quarterback problem. Rather than choose between Deshaun Watson
Browns Defenders Wishing Deshaun Watson Wouldn’t Keep Asking Them To Target His Ankle Monitor During Practice
With training camp behind him and the regular season around the corner, Cleveland Browns starting linebacker Quincy Williams should be locked in. Instead, he’s got starting quarterback and first-string felon
Ray Lewis Shows Up to Ravens’ Cut Day with a Full Smile on His Face
Any NFL organization will agree the roster cut deadline is a brutal one. Former Baltimore Raven Ray Lewis is on the same page, as evidenced by him showing up to
Saints Fear Zach Wilson Did Not Tear His ACL
The New Orleans Saints spent Thursday afternoon anxiously awaiting an injury report that could determine the fate of their season. After watching the entire third-team offense jog off the field
