FOOTBALL

Cowboys Cheerleaders Unveil Cheer Asking For Health Insurance
Suppressing their pain as they gyrated in front of AT&T Stadium’s sold-out crowd, the Dallas Cowboys’ Cheerleaders debuted a new cheer this Sunday that featured them pleading with the organization

Kicker and Punter Feel Strange Pressure To Be Friends
Speaking to reporters before the game on Thursday, Cincinnati Bengals placekicker Randy Bullock and punter Kevin Huber confirmed that apparently based on their positions alone, there has always been this

Cynical Ref Deems Field Goal ‘Good, But Not Great’
After ruling on the field that a kick from Green Bay’s Mason Crosby was good, veteran NFL referee Dan Hruska stopped play Sunday to make an additional clarification that while

Wide Receiver Not Quite Local Commercial-Ready
Speaking outside Ellicott Motors in Tonawanda, New York, dealership owner Dan Baranski lamented to reporters that despite his celebrity status, Buffalo Bills receiver Zay Jones is not yet untalented enough

Eli Manning Proudly Informs Reporters That He’s On Chapter Four Of “Football For Dummies”
Eli Manning proudly informed reporters during a press conference Friday morning that he has officially reached chapter four of “Football for Dummies.” “It feels amazing to have finally found a

NFL Owner Lays Awake At Night Wondering If Players Like Him For His Personality Or His Money
Tossing and turning throughout the night as he tried to push the thought from his head, Carolina Panthers owner, David Tepper, told reporters he can’t shake the feeling that his

Peyton Manning Traded To Geico Commercials
Nationwide Mutual Insurance shocked the marketing world this Wednesday by agreeing to a blockbuster deal to send Peyton Manning to Geico in exchange for two cavemen and the hump-day camel.

Buffalo Bills Owner Plans To Relocate Team To 1964
In a radical move Buffalo Bills owner, Terrence Pegula, plans to relocate the team to the year 1964. Pegula announced the news at a press conference Thursday to a noticeably








