FOOTBALL
Breaking: Brief Cutaway To Taylor Swift During Official Review All Justification Man Needs To Hate Women Forever
“When a quarterback and a center love each other very much, the QB puts his hands between the center’s legs, and a few magical moments later a football comes out.”
–Tom Brady, explaining to Rob Gronkowski where the football comes from
“I’ve never been more passionate about a cause. An entire month dedicated to big natural titties? Hell yeah, here to help!”
–Jerry Jones, on Breast Cancer Awareness Month
“I think it’s important to take the time to thank them for the service they provide this great country.”
–Matt Ryan, on stopping at railroad crossings to salute train conductors
Does A Gay Football Player Have What It Takes To Develop CTE?
Developing chronic traumatic encephalopathy takes years of rigorous training. Daily hits to the head. Consistent concussions. Never missing a trip to the ER. Only a select few NFL players have
Dabo Swinney Just One More Southern Metaphor From Signing This Five-Star Recruit
The college football world is on edge as Dabo Swinney remains one down-home country metaphor away from signing five-star recruit Jeremiah West. Today’s National Signing Day has thus far seen
Hear Us Out: Aaron Rodgers And The Packers Reconcile Their Differences And Also My Parents Get Back Together
Aaron Rodgers is back with the Pack for another year, but his relationship with management is incredibly strained. So wouldn’t it be great if the two sides could sit down,
Help! This NyQuil I Just Took Is Making Me Dream About Derek Carr!
I need help! The NyQuil I just took to treat my nighttime sniffling, sneezing, aching, coughing, stuffy-head, and fever, so I can rest is giving me terrifying dreams about Derek
Bengals Kindly Remind Fans Full Capacity Crowds Allowed
In a statement last Friday, The Cincinnati Bengals gave a patient reminder to all fans that, in case they had somehow missed the hundreds of local news articles and billboards
Do The Tampa Bay Buccaneers Have What It Takes To Have Already Won Super Bowl LV?
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers entered the 2020 season with a great deal of hype. With the additions of Tom Brady, Rob Gronkowski, and Antonio Brown, among others, expectations in Tampa
Packers Bring In Hostage Negotiator To Speak With Aaron Rodgers
The City of Green Bay’s newly established SWAT team was once again called in by the Packers organization to facilitate communications between the team and quarterback Aaron Rodgers. Created weeks
Anti-Helmet Player Points Out Helmets Don’t Fully Protect Against Concussions
Prominent anti-helmet proponent and former wide receiver for the Buffalo Bills, Cole Beasley, caused controversy today after he took to social media to point out helmets don’t fully protect against
