FOOTBALL

“Hahahahahaha, fuck you.”
–Roger Goodell, asked how many streaming services fans need to watch the NFL

Aaron Rodgers Demanding To Know Why He’s Not Being Considered For NFL Coach Of The Year
As NFL award battles begin to heat up, the season’s top contenders are all but set. Unless one were to ask Aaron Rodgers, who is yet again furiously insisting he

Sports Riot Update: Our Keyboard Physically Won’t Let Us Type “Fwirst Placet Bearbs”
At Sports Riot, we try to cover the NFL season as closely as possible. However, we’ve run into a bit of a problem: despite them currently leading the NFC North,

Dan Campbell Reminded By Staff He Doesn’t Need To Mercy-Kill Injured Players
Detroit’s artificial turf is quickly becoming a killing field as the Lions’ staff struggles to convince Dan Campbell, a head coach famous for making gutsy calls, that he doesn’t need

Cam Skattebo’s Father Revealed To Be Crash Test Dummy
Ever since Cam Skattebo cannonballed into the NFL with few words and many headbutts, millions of football fans have found unity in one question — “What’s this guy’s deal?” Now,

Jets Announcers Under Mistaken Impression ‘Garbage Time’ Refers To All Four Quarters
Jets radio announcers Bob Wischusen and Anthony Becht spent the entirety of Sunday’s broadcast referring to every moment of play as “garbage time” a term that refers the closing minutes

Manning Family Forcing Arch To Change Last Name To “Leaf”
Squeezing into Arch’s Texas dorm room, family members gathered to deliver some unfortunate news – the sophomore quarterback from a long lineage of excellence will soon be donning a lesser

Punter Wishes Just Once Fans Would Cheer When He Comes Out
Miami Dolphins’ Jake Bailey has had enough. For years, he’s watched offenses, defense, field goal kickers, cheerleaders, army veterans, and inflatable Dolphins all get cheered on an NFL field. Just

Cam Skattebo Gnaws Off Own Foot To Expedite Recovery Time
Giants fans were crushed to see star running back Cam Skattebo go down with a horrifically brutal ankle injury, one that would surely end his season, possibly his career. However,







