FOOTBALL

Caleb Williams’ Early Success: Inspires Bears Fan To Finally Leave Chicago, Make Something Of His Life

“I just close my eyes, take a deep breath, and think of a baby crying on an airplane.”
–Justin Tucker, “visualizing” before field goal attempts

“Even after all these years, I still get Alabama and Michigan mixed up.”
–Urban Meyer, on which campus frat quad he’s not allowed back at

“My entire team tested negative for cocaine. I’ve… failed them all.”
–Mark Davis, stepping down as Las Vegas Raiders Owner effective immediately

Aaron Rodgers Announces Plans To Astral-Project Into Tim Boyle’s Body
Saying he has a “contingency plan” if his healing timeline does not pan out, injured Jets superstar Aaron Rodgers held a press conference on Tuesday to announce that he intended

Opinion: Switch Pucks And Footballs For One Wild Weekend
Most sports fans can agree that football and hockey have become stale. Hitting a puck with a stick? Yawn. Throwing a football? Snooze city. However, there is a way to

Opinion: If The NFL Were So Concerned About Concussions, They Would Eliminate Heads From The Game
Every now and again, the NFL pretends to care about the mountains of evidence showing that repeated blows to the head cause brain trauma. I’m sick of their virtue signaling.

Jared Goff Ranked As City Of Detroit’s Second-Biggest Villain After God
New Detroit Free Press rankings list Lion’s quarterback Jared Goff as the city’s second-biggest villain right after God Almighty, who has topped the list since the 1970s. “The Lord has

The Top Five NFL Teams Ranked By This Eagles Fan With A Gun Aimed At The Back Of My Head
There’s nothing sports journalists love more than sitting down and crunching out rankings for NFL teams. But sometimes when there are circumstances beyond our control — like lax security measures

Cocky Punter Tries Throwing It
The college football world was turned upside down last weekend when a rogue punter went off script and attempted a pass. Zach Weiland, USC’s punter, demonstrated his confidence, nay his

Big Tech Or Texas Tech? Which Entity Can Fix My Pager?
Young people say the world is more connected than ever. I respectfully disagree. For the past five days, I haven’t received any pages from my friend Dave Minch to call him

We Interview Aaron Rodgers’ Doctor
Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers disappointed many when he admitted to never receiving the COVID-19 vaccine. But while many were quick to demonize him, we wanted to hear from the man’s




