FOOTBALL

“I can do all SORTS of accents!”
–Terry Bradshaw, moments before being tackled to the ground by the rest of the Fox NFL Sunday crew

Hit-By-Pitch Swiftly Followed By Hit-By-Bat
As we begin playoff baseball we must take note of the fourth inning of an otherwise unremarkable Red Sox-Dodgers game this past Sunday. A wayward fastball hit Dodgers’ shortstop Tommy

Sean Payton Thinks Broncos Are Just A Bountygate Away From Shot At Super Bowl
Facing an uphill climb since becoming head coach of the Broncos, Sean Payton now believes the team is close to a championship berth. In fact, in his view, they’re just

Giants Plan To Start First Round QB Pick Sunday, Cut Him Monday
The New York Giants announced that rookie quarterback Jaxson Dart will make his first NFL start on Sunday against the Chargers. The organization also proudly confirmed Dart will be immediately

Report: White House Blames Colin Kaepernick For The Autism In Tylenol
In a shocking yet not unexpected discovery by the White House, former NFL quarterback and current “San Francisco radical-Left-liberal” Colin Kaepernick has been discovered and exposed as the source of

Brian Daboll Punishing Players for Lack of Effort by Making Them Wear Giants Jerseys and Play On Sundays
Since the dawn of time, football and punishment have walked harmoniously hand in hand. Running laps. 1AM scrimmages. Vince Lombardi’s famous guillotine. But then there are times when punishment goes

Win Now: Giants Go All-In With Trade Offer For Colts Stud QB Daniel Jones
The New York Giants might have finally found the missing piece to this season’s puzzle, and it’s not a new defensive end to balance out lineman Dexter Lawrence. Instead they’ve

Dak Prescott Predicts NFC Championship Run, NFL Reviewing Film For Severe Hit To Head
The blue tent is coming out early this year for Cowboys gunslinger Dak Prescott. After announcing to reporters that America’s Team is “primed for a deep playoff run,” the QB

Bears Fan Dies From Either Broken Or Clogged Heart
Last Sunday, Chicago Bears superfan Brian “Jowls” Wishnowski peacefully passed on to that great Lou Malnati’s in the sky. Autopsy results were inconclusive, revealing that the lifelong Soldier Field regular







