Articles

Tommy John So Tired Of Autographing Ligaments
Four-time All Star pitcher Tommy John finished his career with 288 career wins, 3 20-win seasons, and 2,245 strikeouts. Astounding numbers for sure. Numbers, however, that pale in comparison to

Bat Dog Can’t Believe How Many Big Sticks He Keeps Finding
Bruce the golden retriever made Major League headlines last summer, as the Washington Nationals made him the first bat dog called up to The Show. The two-year-old is well aware

Yankees Finally Allow Players To Grow Full Bush
Reversing a strict 113-year tradition, New York Yankees’ head office voted Monday to allow each of their players to finally grow out the full extent of their pubic hair without

Justin Verlander Retires After Remembering He Was Still Playing
Legendary pitcher Justin Verlander announced this week that, at age 43, he will finally be retiring from baseball. According to Verlander, he realized this week that he was, in fact,

Report: Success Of Wembanyama Leads NBA Teams To Search For Tall Guys Who Shoot Basketball
Heading to the NBA Finals for the first time with his 7’4” frame and exceptional ball handling skills, Victor Wembanyama has become one of the NBA’s elite talents. This has

Pitcher Throwing Smoke But That Kid In The 12th Row Just Keeps Shoveling In That Helmet Sundae
The air in Fenway Park was filled with the brittle silence of awe and anticipation. Forty thousand souls joined as one to will history to happen and watch Pittsburgh Pirates

This Day In Sports History: Ailing Babe Ruth Hits Three Dingers In ‘Syphilis Game’
Ask any baseball fan what comes to mind when they think of syphilis, and they’ll reverently utter “Babe Ruth.” The Sultan of Swat knew how to lay wood, a talent

Orioles Test Kevlar For City Connect Jerseys
An MLB City Connect jersey is the very expression of a city’s heart and soul. So, if you’re Baltimore and your DNA is unprecedented gun violence mixed with a top-5

Report: Dad Doesn’t Want To Talk On Drive Home From Mets Game
In a chilling reversal from the drive to the stadium, longtime Mets fan Milton Hethrington III, of Sag Harbor, N.Y., declined to engage his family in spirited banter on the

Mike Trout Insists He’s Staying With The Angels Lose Or Lose
Reached by Zoom at his house in Newport Beach, Calif., Angels All-Star centerfielder Mike Trout confirmed Monday that he’s committed to staying with the Los Angeles Angels whether they go

White Sox Emo Theme Night Like Every Other Game
It’s been over twenty years since the White Sox threw a championship parade, but that doesn’t stop the Black Parade from marching through the South Side every home game. The

An Apology From Our Editors: Jackie Robinson Was Not A White Woman
It is with the utmost sincerity and embarrassment that we at Sports Riot must correct an unacceptable error we made several weeks ago. In a recent article, we referred to

Dad Just Wants One Season Where Phillies Go 162–0 With No Close Games
Longtime Phils fan Ron D’Amico announced Sunday that if he could’ve made one small wish for this season it would be to see the Fightin Phils win every single game
