Articles

Hear Us Out: Fuck Baltimore, Edgar Allen Poe Would Have Been A Red Sox Fan
To you, the name Edgar Allen Poe might conjure three things: the Raven-black hair, the mustache, and of course, the

Opinion: There’s No Crying In Baseball, But I Have Many Other Bodily Fluids To Offer
Even the most fair-weather baseball fan knows the famous ‘A League of Their Own’ adage “there’s no crying in baseball.”

Huge Balls: This Infielders WalkUp Song Is I Don’t Want To Wait by Paula Cole
When it’s time to choose a walk-up song, most ballplayers stick with hip-hop or hard rock. But one Texas Rangers

Hear Us Out: Baseball But I Turn Off The TV
What salt of the earth, red blooded, gas guzzling American doesn’t love baseball? There is nothing more American than drinking

Hear Us Out: Arguments Between Baseball Umpires And Coaches Must End In Make-Out Sessions
Baseball is America’s pastime. We all know there is nothing better on a hot day than watching the boys of

Hear Us Out: Replace the MLB Pitch Clock with a Time-Sensitive Hostage Situation
You know what takes too long? Baseball. You know what would fix it? Kidnapping people from the stands, putting a gun to their head, and

It’s MLB Opening Day! Now Where’s The Goddamn Remote?
The crack of the bat echoes through the park. The barely warm spring sun pokes its head out to bathe the loyal fans in its


MLB Issues Apology After Barry Bonds Diagnosed With Rare Head-Growing Disease
Fourteen years after his retirement, Major League Baseball has issued an apology to all-time home run leader Barry Bonds after his confirmed diagnosis of an

10 Best Nipples In Major League Baseball
From the delightfully perky to the downright concave, it’s no secret that the MLB has given the sport’s many male-chest-area enthusiasts a plethora of exciting

CDC Announces Fully Vaccinated Catchers No Longer Need To Wear A Facemask
In a move long awaited by players everywhere, the Center for Disease Control has now revised its guidelines for all Major League Baseball catchers, declaring that those who are vaccinated

Kansas City Owner Arrested For Attempting To Scalp 12000 Tickets Before Game
The Kansas City Police Department confirmed in a statement today that they have taken Royals owner John Sherman into custody, after the profusely sweating 64-year-old was observed outside of Kauffman

Cy Young Pitcher Hopes Walk Will Make Up For All Those Groundouts
Although the 2021 MLB season is young, Cincinnati Reds Starting Pitcher Phil Scott is lining himself up for the coveted National League Cy Young. As he prepares to accept the