If you build it, they will come.
-Pete Rose on the IRS coming for his new house
I think my translator was confused.
-Shohei Ohtani on why he agrees to pitch, DH, and play outfield
I hate when people say baseball is boring if you’re sober. I’m hammered right now and still bored to tears.
-Tony La Russa, White Sox Manager
I place my son 20 feet in front of me and I bend the ball around him. And if I hit him? He knew the risks.
-Clayton Kershaw, how he practices his curveball
Fucked her, fucked her, fucked her.
-Babe Ruth, pointing at different parts of the stadium with his bat
I would trade it all to have adult testicles.
I would trade it all for adult testicles.
Not even one
-Cy Young on how many Cy Youngs he won
At first I thought why is everyone running so slow?
-Jackie Robinson, on his first game in the MLB