Articles

Cowboys Cheerleaders Unveil Cheer Asking For Health Insurance
Suppressing their pain as they gyrate in front of AT&T Stadium’s sold-out crowd, the Dallas Cowboys’ Cheerleaders are to debut a new cheer this Thanksgiving that features them pleading with

Asshole Doesn’t Even Wear Eagles Jersey To Daughter’s First Communion
Philadelphia native Tommy Abruzzo turned heads this Sunday when he walked into Old St. Mary’s Catholic Church for his daughter’s First Communion wearing nothing but a blue blazer, mauve tie,

Meet The Armless Quarterback Who Refused To Let His Poor Eyesight Stop Him From Reaching The NFL
Growing up as an armless kid in West Texas, Adam “Four Eyes” Guidroz could only dream of one day overcoming his poor eyesight to play quarterback in the NFL. Today,

Satanic Football Player Points To The Ground After Scoring Touchdown
After scoring the game-tying touchdown, running back Damien Phillips pointed both index fingers towards the ground to honor the great and powerful Lucifer for granting him the ability to win

Is The ‘Fighting Irish’ Mascot Insensitive To Ireland’s Well-Documented History Of Cowardice?
The Notre Dame Leprechaun presents an impossible dichotomy: How in the world does an institution like Notre Dame spit in the face of Ireland’s well-documented history of cowardice by presenting

Zach Wilson Checks Himself Into Rehab After Wild Night In New York Cafe
Following the surprise upset of the juggernaut Philadelphia Eagles, backup New York Jets and devout Mormon Zach Wilson shocked the football world after checking himself into a rehab program following

Chicago Bears Announce Plans To Convert Soldier Field Into Quarterback Cemetery
Invoking the history of devastating loss that has long plagued it, Chicago Bears GM Ryan Poles held a press conference on Monday announcing plans to convert the team’s soon-to-be-former home,

Aaron Rodgers To Spend Next Offseason In LA Soft Launching New Cult
Calling the move “critical for his physical and emotional healing,” veteran quarterback Aaron Rodgers has announced plans to take time during the NFL’s offseason to become the spiritual and salvational

Lifelong St. Louis Rams Fan Just Wants To Witness One 10.0-Rated Los Angeles Earthquake Before They Die
There’s only one item on lifelong St. Louis Rams fan David Harbrook’s bucket list: to see a 10.0-rated earthquake lay waste to the city of Los Angeles. Writing on his

31-Year-Old Running Back Put Down Following Severe Knee Injury
In response to recent injuries to the likes of Nick Chubb and J.K. Dobbins, Sports Riot is reporting that following a severe knee injury during the fourth quarter of Sunday’s

LA Charger Charged With Battery After Battering Charger Girl With Car Battery
The District Attorney for Los Angeles County confirmed last Thursday that LA Charger, Ben Quirke was charged with battery after a Charger Girl alleged he battered her with a car

Hospital Visit From Team Punter Alerts Kid To Fact He’s Probably Gonna Survive
The appearance of Dolphins’ punter Alex Loman on Wednesday confirmed to the family of 6-year-old crash-victim Colin Hannegan that Colin would not only survive the accident but likely, one day,

How Young Is Too Young To Sign Up Your Child For Their First Concussion?
As a parent, you want your child to have a head start – and that means getting their first concussion out of the way as soon as they qualify for