Tua Brings Blue Tent Camping Just In Case

Dolphins quarterback Tua Tagovailoa stated in an interview Thursday that he intends to use the offseason to “find himself” in the wildernesses of Florida, and that he intends to pack the NFL “blue tent” for ease of injury assessment. 

The 27-year-old Davie, Fla., resident said that while his primary doctor “resolutely opposed” the idea, the team doctors keep clearing him for camping. “When I told [my doctor] I’m going anyway, he said, ‘Bring a blue tent.’ So now I have two tents. I have my camping tent. And I have my blue tent.” 

To prep for his upcoming trip to Florida’s Ocala National Forest, he set up the blue tent in his back yard and, upon entering, marveled at its novelty. “You know, my teammates tell me I’ve been in here dozens of times, but I’ve never actually seen the inside of this thing. It’s huge!” 

Team doctors have warned the Fins’ quarterback of the many objects one can hit his head on. Tua’s personal doctor advised him to watch out for low-hanging branches, falling rocks, and stray Myles Garretts, who have been known to blindside quarterbacks hiking in the offseason. He was also told to stay away from any and all turf. 

In addition to bringing the blue tent camping, Tagovailoa plans to bring along five offensive linemen, a panicked athletic trainer, and a frazzled ref.