Articles

Franchise Player Leaving Town Takes Out Full Page Ad To Tell Fans How Much They Can Fuck Themselves
Hours after news broke that the Green Bay Packers traded away quarterback and former four time MVP Aaron Rodgers, it is now being reported that the former Wisconsin star let

Top Five Bill Belichick Outfits That Scream ‘No Days Off, Daddy’
No doubt Bill Belichick is a sex god, but how much of that has been attributed to his six Super Bowl rings and not his austere, unforgiving, and somehow deeply

Alleged Serial Killer Fitting Right In On Patriots Coaching Staff
Although they were initially worried about the fit, the Patriots front office happily reported on Thursday that the team’s new defensive line coach and rumored serial murderer of over 22

NFL+ Premium Subscription Will Allow Fans To View Previously Blurred Out Locker Room Dicks
As first announced on NFL social media, the NFL has announced that any fan with a subscription to NFL+ will be allowed to see any previously edited out locker room

Dedicated Player: Rodgers Takes Time To Insult All 537,460 Packers Owners Face-To-Face
If there’s an award for “Greatest Team Player of All Time,” I nominate Aaron Rodgers. You heard that correctly. Aaron. Charles. Rodgers. The former Packers’ QB took it upon himself

Report: The Eyeblack Stays On During Sex
Quarterback Tyler Tyson maintains a competitive edge both on and off the playing field. He has confirmed to multiple media members and reportedly with every partner he’s ever had, telling

Aaron Rodgers Discovers Theoretical Fifth Down
Aaron Rodgers has done it again. The former Jets quarterback — who has won four League MVPs, hosted “Jeopardy!”, and was named the “NFL’s Deepest Thinker” by his Instagram bio

We Sat Down With Robert Kraft At The NFL Owners Summit And Now We’re Being Hunted For Sport
When Sports Riot scored an exclusive interview with Robert Kraft at the NFL Owners Summit on the exotic Isla de la Condenada, we quickly assembled our reporters. But as our

Aaron Rodgers Horrified To Learn He Hallucinated Super Bowl Win
In a somber press conference following a two-week voluntary stint in a Stevens Point rehab facility, Aaron Rodgers revealed to reporters that he had just learned his 2011 season with

Jacksonville Jaguars Announce New Transport Partnership With Bang Bus
In a mutually beneficial maneuver, Jaguars owner Shad Khan announced that the team had finally “bent over to the throbbing, massive demands of the Jacksonville fanbase,” and had entered into

Super Bowl Or World Cup: Which Can Hold More Liquid?
Now that the great size debate has finally reached the Super Bowl and World Cup, men and women from around the globe need to know – which can hold more

First Female Super Bowl Ref Excited To Be Second-Guessed On National Stage
The NFL’s first female Super Bowl referee told reporters today in a press conference that she is ecstatic at the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be second-guessed in front of almost 100

Opinion: The Super Bowl Peaked At IV And It’s Time To Finally Cancel It
On January 11, 1970, the Kansas City Chiefs defeated the Minnesota Vikings 23-7. Each player left with $42, a traumatic brain injury, and the honor of playing in the greatest
