Dedicated Player: Rodgers Takes Time To Insult All 537,460 Packers Owners Face-To-Face

If there’s an award for “Greatest Team Player of All Time,” I nominate Aaron Rodgers.

You heard that correctly. Aaron. Charles. Rodgers. The former Packers’ QB took it upon himself to go door-to-door and tell every Cheesehead owner to suck his balls. His cold, very-cold, new New York Jet balls. If that’s not dedication, I don’t know what is.

Any other four-time MVP would outsource the job to his second-stringer, and that Bubby-Brister-like fuck would have only to ride the elevator a few floors and knock on one white guy’s door to tell him to go fuck himself.

Rodgers? No. The man wouldn’t let backup Jordan Love hold his mitten while he delivers a chapped middle finger. Rodgers walked the alleyways and sewers of Green Bay alone, at night, in a Starter jacket, in driving rain, in crippling fog, just so he could personally insult every one of his 537,460 shareholders. That’s dedication.

And when he finds them he shakes their hand and tells them personally to suck a dick.

PERSONALLY.

Sometimes it’s his dick. Sometimes it’s Olivia Munn’s dick. Sometimes it’s a dick in the shape of a Cheesehead. The point is: dicks. And for those of you Brady-worshippers who say A-Rod’s not dedicated, you should seriously get your dick checked.

I mean dick sucked.

I mean head checked.

But don’t take it from me. Take it from the Greatest Team Player of All Time, Aaron Rodgers.