Articles

Retired NFL Kicker Asks Wife If She Needs Him To Kick Anything Today
Anxious to feel useful for the first time since his retirement from football, sources say that former NFL kicker Peter Neal once again asked his wife if she needs him

All Dad’s Friends At Buffalo Wild Wings
Speaking to reporters, local 17-year-old Samantha Niegarten stated that she was shocked on Saturday afternoon to find the entirety of her father Dan Niegarten’s circle of friends camped out around

Odell Beckham Jr. Still Figuring Out What Cosmic Lesson He Has To Learn To Get Out Of Cleveland
In preparation for his next season with the Browns, Odell Beckham Jr. is still figuring out what sins he has committed in the past, and what cosmic lesson he has

Study: ED Medication Not Actually Capable Of Helping You Throw A Football Through A Tire Swing
An alarming new Duke University study has found that erectile dysfunction medications do not help its users throw a football through a tire swing, despite what television commercials for these

Gatorade Announces Return To Original Recipe
Declaring it the greatest advancement in hydration since the invention of bottles, Gatorade held a press conference this Thursday to announce they will be returning to a 100% pure gator

Pretty Cool I Guess: This Guy Who Played On The Bengals For Two Years Is Here To Talk To Your School About Something
In the world of sports journalism, there’s no such thing as a guarantee. Like sports, you’ve got to roll with the punches, or you’ll wind up getting knocked out. That’s

NCAA To Start Paying Players On All Teams Except For Tennessee Volunteers
In a stunning reversal of policy, NCAA President Mark Emmert confirmed on Thursday that the organization will begin compensating collegiate athletes on every team except for the Tennessee Volunteers. “The

Nick Bosa Becomes Self-Aware And Immediately Attacks His Captors
Visitors at Levi’s Stadium yesterday were put on high alert when the San Francisco 49ers returned from their Seattle road game and alpha defensive line specimen, referred to by the

QB Works Through Progression, Realizes He Hates All His Receivers
After receiving the ball from his trustworthy center, quarterback Robert Dixon quickly ran through three sequential receiving options before realizing that he absolutely despises all of his currently open targets.

California NCAA Athlete Looking Forward To Spending Endorsement Deal Money On Half Of Bio 101 Textbook
Energized by a new California law that will allow NCAA athletes to earn money from endorsements, Golden Bears running back Troy Layton told reporters for Cal’s student newspaper that he

NFL Films Makes Another Documentary About Football
Monday afternoon NFL Films announced their newest documentary and this time it’s all about football. Get ready for all the hard hitting football action you love coupled with world class

Eli Manning Signed By Whoever Has To Play The Patriots In The Super Bowl
In what many around the league are calling a “biased” and “unpatriotic” move, the National Football League announced today that they will allow Eli Manning to sign with whatever team

Titans Ownership Saving Up For Cyber Monday Jumbotron Deal
Titans ownerships gathered last week to announce their plan to get a new jumbotron during Cyber Monday, or a really good sale, noting that the organization is now on the
