Articles

Domestic Violence Will Never Be Tolerated Unless The Chiefs Need A Running Back
The National Football League’s domestic violence policy came into question last night during the Chiefs victory over the New Orleans Saints. Kareem Hunt boasted a 27 carry, 101 yard, and

Breaking: NY Jets Fire Robert Saleh, Hire Aaron Rodgers As Head Coach
“It’s time to hire a real coach around here,” boasted Aaron Rodgers to the New York media. While some around the league are in shock at the firing of a

Hold Up! If You Gaurantee $230 Million To A Piece Of Shit It May Not Work Out?
“First off, I’ve heard the allegations and it’s time I admit they’re true,” Deshaun Watson said to the Cleveland press. Watson took to the podium immediately after strong accusations of

Pardon Our Delay: OJ Simpson Arrested For Alleged Murder
For thirty years, we have neglected to report and are just learning of OJ Simpson’s alleged murder arrest. In doing so, we have misled our readers about Mr. Simpson. Sports

Report: Dad Has ‘Favorite Black Quarterback’
Speaking to his son on the phone, local dad and lifelong NFL fan, Martin Wilhite, proudly announced that after years of waiting, he had finally chosen a favorite Black quarterback

Dan Campbell Apologizes For Accidentially Devouring Game Ball Meant For Jared Goff
After Jared Goff’s perfect performance against the Seattle Seahawks Dan Campbell took to the media to apologize for accidentally devouring the game ball meant for Goff. “It’s my bad,” said

Andy Reid’s 23&Me Results Reveal He Is 30% Corned Beef Hash
During a press conference following Sunday’s 17–10 win to the Chargers, Chiefs’ head coach Andy Reid shared that his 23andMe results were in, and reportedly 30% of his lineage stems

Jared Goff’s Perfect Performance Confirms Reality Is A Simulation
In the Lions thrilling victory over the Seattle Seahawks last night, Detroit’s triumph sent two messages to the rest of the league. 1) Detroit is a contender in the playoffs;

Report: Bo Nix Has A Lot Of Fucking Explaining To Do
Sources around Denver, CO have confirmed that Bo Nix “has a lot of fucking explaining to do.” League insiders appear to be baffled as well but more importantly mathematicians around

Daniel Jones Disappointed In Giants For Starting Him
After boasting a no-touchdown losing performance against division rival, Dallas, Daniel Jones addressed the local media, “We need to be putting ourselves in better situations.” Jones, visibly upset, continued, “The

Aaron Rodgers Dies Of Sensitivity Training
Jets officials confirmed that New York quarterback Aaron Rodgers suffered a fatal reaction to a sensitivity training seminar earlier today. The mandated event was aimed to help Jets players understand

BREAKING: Jared Goff’s Perfect Performance Confirms Reality Is A Simulation
In the Lions thrilling victory over the Seattle Seahawks last night, Detroit’s triumph sent two messages to the rest of the league. 1) Detroit is a contender in the playoffs;

Daniel Jones Disappointed In Giants For Starting Him
After boasting a no-touchdown losing performance against division rival, Dallas. Daniel Jones addressed the local media, “We need to be putting ourselves in better situations.” Jones, visibly upset, continued, “The
