Still Got It! Jay Cutler Intercepted By Police

Jay Cutler, former NFL quarterback, was intercepted by Tennessee police early last night, sources say.

Although a first of Cutler’s record(s), officers on the scene noted something different about this car-and-key turnover.

“Honestly, it was the easiest arrest of my life,” said Officer Brett Rodgers. “It’s like he threw himself right to us.”

Fortunately the entire event resulted in no injuries other than thousands of crippling post-traumatic episodes from Bears fans everywhere.