Domestic Violence Will Never Be Tolerated Unless The Chiefs Need A Running Back

The National Football League’s domestic violence policy came into question last night during the Chiefs victory over the New Orleans Saints.

Kareem Hunt boasted a 27 carry, 101 yard, and one crucial touchdown performance. Despite being notably cut, removed, and spurred by the NFL after video surfaced of him shoving, kicking, and assaulting a woman in a hotel in 2018.

“We have learned our lesson from Ray Rice. Thus, we have a strict NO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE policy in the NFL,” said Roger Goodell to reporters. “Unless it’s the Chiefs – I mean, they’re our cash cow.”

Chiefs owner Clark Hunt responded to the backlash earlier this morning via press conference, “The Kansas City Chiefs respect women. That’s why we’re proud of our beautiful relationship with Taylor Swift and all the young lady Swifties out there!”

The Chief’s owner spoke for a few more short minutes before fielding a question about [Kareem] Hunt potentially contradicting [Clark] Hunt’s earlier statement. “Kareem? Oh well – you know, we gotta win!”