Breaking: Cowboys Sign Lucrative Deal With Pronhub To “At Least Be Paid To Be Gaped”

Deal master, mogul, and owner Jerry Jones has done it again. The Dallas Cowboys have signed an extremely lucrative contract with pornography giant, Pornhub.

“Time to give the people what they want,” said Jones while penning his name to a record-setting $9.3 Billion contract.

Coach Mike McCarthy spoke out in full support of the move, “Let’s get paid for what we’re good at — getting bent over and gaped, ON CAMERA!”

While success of the business union has yet to be determined, many league insiders know this is a business no-brainer.

“We don’t have that much money,” said Pornhub President and CEO, Richard Plump. “Despite being billions in debt and financing — this will pay off deeply in the end. Just you watch.” Plump paused, “I, myself, prefer to watch.”

As of publication of this article, the Cowboys have only released one video titled “Dak Gets Gaped By Stepsister… And Still Throws Interception”. To which, the video received 220 million views in under an hour.