FOOTBALL

“It was an emotional moment: Tom, starting to cry; me, observing him display emotion.”
-Bill Belichick, on his reunion with Tom Brady

“I was really just trying to dig deep and find a win anyway I could.”
-Urban Meyer, on why he shoved his fingers up that girl’s butt

“I’ve been around a long time and I know what garbage looks like.”
-Daniel Jones, to a mirror

Joe Burrow Retires After Tumultuous Bengals Career
The city of Cincinnati was left reeling on Thursday, as star quarterback Joe Burrow, after a grueling, incredibly horrifying [four week] career with the Bengals, claimed that he could not

NFL Owners Release Joint Statement In Support Of Money
Responding to the financial unrest unfolding across the United States, NFL owners today released a joint statement bravely supporting the production, acquisition, and protection of money. “We find it reprehensible

No One At 49ers Zoom Meeting Going To Tell Richard Sherman He’s On Mute
A very unsurprising conflict has emerged within the 49ers’ current Zoom conference meeting, as multiple players are reporting that no one wants to inform fellow teammate, Richard Sherman, that his

Is The Fighting Irish Mascot Insensitive To Ireland’s Well-Documented History Of Cowardice?
The Notre Dame Leprechaun presents an impossible dichotomy: How in the world does an institution like Notre Dame spit in the face of Ireland’s well-documented history of cowardice by presenting

Virtual NFL Draft Provides Blueprint On How To Break Into Kliff Kingsbury’s House
While the virtual NFL draft was a success on multiple fronts, some Phoenix viewers have noted that the event had one additional benefit: providing the perfect view to finally realize

New NFL ‘PuntZone’ Gives Fans Access To Just The Punts
Responding to overwhelming demand from fans, the NFL announced today that it will launch its newest channel, NFL PuntZone, starting Week 1 this revolutionary new way of looking at football

NFL RedZone Success Inspires NASCAR CrashZone
If there’s one thing NASCAR fans can’t get enough of, it’s the heart-pounding, adrenaline-pumping, metal-bending, high-speed collisions that make the sport so special. That’s why this Monday NASCAR officials unveiled

Cleveland Found To Finally Be Thriving Without Sports
As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to cripple America’s economy there is little left to get excited about. Sports are certainly not one of the “exciting” topics as they’ve been cancelled





