Suddenly Charitable NFL Player Must Have Done Something Horrible

Following a particularly philanthropic day, fans of star Broncos wide receiver Marcel Voight have become suspicious that the suddenly charitable NFL player must have done something horrible. Voight, who has no previous record of committing charitable acts, raised eyebrows on Saturday as he visited a local hospital, bought Christmas presents for an entire elementary school, and donated blood well past the point of consciousness.

The accused player, a 5-time Pro Bowler, is vehemently denying the allegations, claiming he has always put others before himself, regardless of whether or not he has been up to something dubious.

“Look, I’m a good person, okay? I fist-bump every single cancer kid they bring to practice, don’t I?” said a perspiring, nervous Voight, “This kind of behavior is very, very normal for me, and has nothing to do with what I did on Friday night between the hours of 11PM and 3:45AM.”

The NFL has said it is looking into the allegations, but with COVID-19 and the offseason the NFL won’t have enough time to conduct a full investigation until at least Breast Cancer Distraction Month (October).