FOOTBALL

Penn State Glad To Finally Be Known As Football Powerhouse Again Instead Of That Football Other Thing

Cowboys Staff Rush To Intercept Jerry Jones Heading Over To Prescott’s Rehab Session With Shotgun

“Kids these days — they just don’t want to work.”
-101-year-old Bears owner Virginia McCaskey, on Mitch McConnell stepping down

“I am a child. I am a little boy. Milk please!”
–Kyle Shanahan, enduring another post-Super Bowl psychotic episode

“I believe those refer to the original Eight Colonies.”
–Rob Gronkowski, on what the start in the NFL logo represent

‘All Dogs Go To Heaven’ And 5 Other Films Gronk Thinks Got Passed Over For The Oscar
Sports Riot sat down with former tight end and noted film connoisseur Rob Gronkowski to get his take on the biggest snubs in Oscar history. Drawing from classic cinema to

Report: Aaron Rodgers Will Not Commit To A Peaceful Transfer Of Power
In what many watchdogs are calling a disturbing deviation from standard NFL norms, sources from inside the Jets organization are reporting that quarterback Aaron Rodgers has not indicated he will

How To Fuck Your Way To The Top Of Your Office Fantasy Football League
The office fantasy football league is cutthroat, which is why you’re going to deep-throat your way into the playoffs. When your team sucks, you start blowing. When the going gets

Rehab Doctor Also Giving Deshaun Watson Shock Therapy Just To See What It Does
Deshaun Watson, star quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, is currently and crucially mid-rehab-assignment for his $200Mil achilles. Watson’s rehab physician, Dr. Faker Mayfield M.D., has built a modern turnaround schedule

Report: London Vows to Retaliate Against America if They Keep Sending Jacksonville Jaguars
Tensions are mounting between London and the United States after the UK’s Prime Minister issued a stark warning claiming they will be left with no other choice but to retaliate

Robert Saleh Update: His Succulent Has Reached “Peak Succulence”
While the beat goes on for the NY Jets and NFL, many around the league can’t help but wonder what ex-NY Jets coach Robert Saleh is up to. Since the

Still Got It! Jay Cutler Intercepted By Police
Jay Cutler, former NFL quarterback, was intercepted by Tennessee police early last night, sources say. Although a first of Cutler’s record(s), officers on the scene noted something different about this

NY Jets Finalize Trade For Entire 2021 Packers Roster
Sources close to the situation are confirming that Jets head coach Aaron Rodgers was the driving force behind the trade. “I just saw an opportunity to improve our roster,” the



