FOOTBALL
Penn State Glad To Finally Be Known As Football Powerhouse Again Instead Of That Football Other Thing
Cowboys Staff Rush To Intercept Jerry Jones Heading Over To Prescott’s Rehab Session With Shotgun
“Kids these days — they just don’t want to work.”
-101-year-old Bears owner Virginia McCaskey, on Mitch McConnell stepping down
“I am a child. I am a little boy. Milk please!”
–Kyle Shanahan, enduring another post-Super Bowl psychotic episode
“I believe those refer to the original Eight Colonies.”
–Rob Gronkowski, on what the start in the NFL logo represent
Jared Goff’s Perfect Performance Confirms Reality Is A Simulation
In the Lions thrilling victory over the Seattle Seahawks last night, Detroit’s triumph sent two messages to the rest of the league. 1) Detroit is a contender in the playoffs;
Report: Bo Nix Has A Lot Of Fucking Explaining To Do
Sources around Denver, CO have confirmed that Bo Nix “has a lot of fucking explaining to do.” League insiders appear to be baffled as well but more importantly mathematicians around
Daniel Jones Disappointed In Giants For Starting Him
After boasting a no-touchdown losing performance against division rival, Dallas, Daniel Jones addressed the local media, “We need to be putting ourselves in better situations.” Jones, visibly upset, continued, “The
Aaron Rodgers Dies Of Sensitivity Training
Jets officials confirmed that New York quarterback Aaron Rodgers suffered a fatal reaction to a sensitivity training seminar earlier today. The mandated event was aimed to help Jets players understand
BREAKING: Jared Goff’s Perfect Performance Confirms Reality Is A Simulation
In the Lions thrilling victory over the Seattle Seahawks last night, Detroit’s triumph sent two messages to the rest of the league. 1) Detroit is a contender in the playoffs;
Daniel Jones Disappointed In Giants For Starting Him
After boasting a no-touchdown losing performance against division rival, Dallas. Daniel Jones addressed the local media, “We need to be putting ourselves in better situations.” Jones, visibly upset, continued, “The
Andy Dalton Has Fucked 136 Carolina Residents Since Sunday
Carolina has a new sex-God. The “Red Rifle” has reportedly “unloaded” on 136 Carolina residents. And, counting! “Guys, gals, and everyone else in Carolina can’t not fuck me right now,“
Its Official: Myers-Briggs Creates Unique Category For Type Of Loser Dak Prescott Is
Since its conception in 1944, the Myers-Briggs Personality Test (MBPT) has never changed, until now. Research found that the famed test couldn’t measure just how much of a massive fantastical
