FOOTBALL

Dick Butkus, testy after years of ridicule for being shafted by an unfortunate name, has decided to officially change his name to Phallus Assmooch. “Whenever I was penetrating the hole,

The Dallas Cowboys announced today that they have placed head coach Mike McCarthy on injured reserve, a decision made shortly after team doctors confirmed that the Jason Garrett replacement had

Mark Smithicks, superfan here, and I’ve been thinking. Thinking long and hard. Here are some thoughts that I’ve thought. I think you’ve thought what I’ve thought: We as a society

Returning home from a United Way fundraising event in Madison, Wisconsin, local Rockford, Illinois, native and lifelong Bears fan, Brian Zielinski was devastated to report the overwhelming sense of warmth

Longtime owner of the Green Bay Packers Bryan Hartwell admitted last week that he can’t even afford seats better than the nosebleeds. “You’d think, wow. Owner. He’s probably got his

The untold story of the NCAA National Championship Game. Alabama captain, James Quinn has it all: good looks, football stardom, and tons of adoring fans; the one thing missing is

Though participating in the wave has been a beloved pastime both for me and millions of sports fans across America, I have to admit it hasn’t always been smooth sailing.

We don’t mean to alarm you, and definitely don’t look now, but according to sources close to the field, the inconspicuous man in section 148 (the one you thought was