FOOTBALL

Morning Sky Blackens As Swarm Of Philip Rivers’ Kids Descend On Playground Like Horde Of Locusts

“No one’s ever accused me of being overconfident. Then again, no one’s ever accused me of being underconfident, either. Now that I think about it… has anyone ever talked about me before?”
–Derek Carr

Hear Us Out: We Give Owners CTE
The worry of chronic traumatic encephalopathy, or CTE, is leading to some terrible optics for the NFL. To help these issues go away, we at Sports Riot think the best

How To Watch A Live Birth Like A College Football Recruiter
If you’re a recruiter that wants to beat the elite programs to the punch, you’re gonna need to get your commitments early — even if you gotta start scouting in

Rusty Eagles Fan Needs A Few Games To Get Into Midseason Harassment Shape
Following a summer of warm weather, fresh air, and an alarming lack of battery-throwing, one Eagles fan admitted he was nowhere near midseason-harassment shape and would need a few games

Urban Meyer Still Lurking For Next Opportunity
Claiming he was “trailing in the fourth, but not out of it yet,” disgraced Jaguars coach Urban Meyer gave a surprise press conference on Wednesday maintaining that he was actively

Watson Hoped Slap On Wrist Would Be Slap On Penis
Sources close to suspended Cleveland Browns’ quarterback Deshaun Watson say that the player hoped his recent punishment for assaulting dozens of masseuses would be less a slap on the wrist

US Government Enlists Nick Saban To Scream At Economy Until We Reach Proper Performance
The U.S. Department of Commerce announced on Monday its plans to enlist University of Alabama head football coach Nick Saban to scream the economy back to pre-COVID performance levels. “The

NFL Blooper Reel Features 3 Never-Before-Seen Deaths
Player deaths are highly sought after highlights that are typically reserved for team owner’s private collections, but an NFL+ subscription will get you never before seen access to the wildest

Detroit Man Puts In Bio For Used 2002 Ford Field
After finding a remarkable discount for it on Zillow.com, local Detroit resident Terrence Remarque mentioned to reporters on Thursday that he has officially put in his $225,000 bid in a






