FOOTBALL

Caleb Williams Hoping If He Doesn’t Make Any Sudden Movements, Bears Won’t Be Able To See Him

“I’d rather be sad and with you than happy with someone new.”
–Bill Belichick, in a drunken voicemail on Brady’s phone

“Rocket arm. Rocket brain. Rocket Mortgage. ROCKET arm. ROCKET brain. ROCKET MORTGAGE. ROCKETMORTGAGEROCKETMORTGAGEROCKETMORTGAGE.”
–Justin Herbert, practicing for his first commercial

“Problem solved.”
–Jerry Jones, in blackface, entering several NFL meetings regarding lack of front offices with minorities

“Have the courage to let the unborn be born. You never know which ones will grow up to be hot.”
–Urban Meyer, on abortion

AP Releases Top 25 Numbers In College Football
The Associated Press on Sunday released its latest rankings of the top 25 numbers in college football following a wild weekend in which several even numbers displaced previously unbeaten odd

This Player Fumbled His Head. Now What?
On third and long from their opponents’ 40, Raiders’ rookie wide receiver Bryan Edwards was hit hard by Titans’ safety Michael Devin Griffen forcing him to fumble his head. Players,

You Can Tackle Someone Until They Develop CTE, But I Can’t Bludgeon My Enemies With A Tire Iron?
You know what makes me sick? I can turn on the TV anytime from August through early February and watch human beings collide with such force that, if done repeatedly,

Is Big Ben Still Pittsburgh’s Best Option At Beating Legal Cases?
When it comes to winning legal defense cases, no one in Pittsburgh does it better than the Steelers’ own Ben Roethlisberger. Fans still remember their excitement at the turn of

NFL Power Rankings: Who’s Kicking Ass And Who’s Eating Ass?
Another week of NFL action means another edition of our weekly power rankings. Some teams kicked ass and others? Well, they ate some ass. Here are the major winners and

Injury Report: Here’s A List Of People That Got Fucked Up Last Week
We’re deep into the NFL season, but even as we inch closer to the playoffs, the list of fucked up players keeps growing larger. Here’s a list of all those

We Rank The Top Rookie Quarterbacks By How Well They Handle Hazing
The NFL draft was stacked with premier quarterback talent. We rank this year’s crop of rookie gunslingers by their ability to handle professional-level hazing. Zach Wilson Although he never fully

Zach Wilson Checks Himself Into Rehab After Wild Night In New York Cafe
Following the surprise upset of the juggernaut Philadelphia Eagles, backup New York Jets and devout Mormon Zach Wilson shocked the football world after checking himself into a rehab program following



