FOOTBALL
Oh Thank God: This Player Suffered A Career-Ending Injury After You Already Won Your Fantasy League
“A lady at Home Goods thought she could box me out from the top shelf linen. I Mossed that shit right out of her hands. I don’t care ‘Samantha’ that this is for your ‘grandmother’ in ‘hospice.'”
–DK Metcalf
“We’re pivoting. Rethinking some strategies.”
–Jim Harbaugh, currently hacking into the servers at Washington University’s campus
Antonio Brown Out 4-6 Weeks With Dislocated Thoughts
The injuries are piling up this NFL season, and sadly the Buccaneers’ Antonio Brown appears to be no exception, as reports indicate the veteran wide receiver will be sidelined for
Mike Richards Hired As New Packers Quarterback
This former game show host is the new Green Bay Packers starting quarterback: Who is Mike Richards? After a months-long process to find the next Packers quarterback, the organization selected
Is Your Child Addicted To NFL Redzone?
It’s a parent’s worst nightmare. You walk into your child’s room. It’s dark. They haven’t left in days, and you find them under their Raiders blanket, strung out from a
Jaguars Fans Swear If Trevor Lawrence Wins A Super Bowl He’ll Never Have To Pay For Bag Of Meth In Jacksonville
Jacksonville fans made a promise to Trevor Lawrence this past weekend that if the rookie QB wins the team a Super Bowl, he will never again have to pay for
Ranking NFC East Fanbases From Completely Insufferable To Adorably Violent
The NFC East is the worst. The teams, the coaches, and most importantly, the fans. We’ve ranked them from completely insufferable all the way to adorably violent. Completely Insufferable—NY
New Report Shows Millennial Quarterbacks Possess Only 5% As Much Wealth As Boomer Esiason
A new study released this week from the NFL’s Economic Policy Institute has pinpointed an alarming trend, showing that today’s Millennial quarterbacks possess only a fraction of the wealth of
Hear Us Out: More Chainsaws In Texas Team Logos
I think we can all agree that the most famous thing about Texas is the legendary “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” It’s literally all the state is known for, as far as
Report: Football Finally Receives FDA Approval
After over 100 years of research the FDA has finally given the go-ahead and approved Football. After initial trials dating back to the 1900s the game’s side-effects were much too