FOOTBALL

Progress??! Man In “Caitlin Clark” Jersey Sitting Next To Woman In “Harrison Butker” Jersey

Man Patiently Re-Explains What NFL Preseason ‘OTAs’ Are To Wife Currently Packing Her Things

“Probably tough for her to run a successful team when she’s always getting her period.”
–Jerry Jones, on 100-year-old Bears owner Virginia McCaskey

“One time coach Belichick just drove me to a graveyard and pointed at it. Then looked at me but kept pointing at it.”
–Mac Jones, on his coach-quarterback relationship

“Heyo – guess who’s got the biggest dickidy dick-dick-dick in the room?”
–Josh Allen, trying to make new friends

“Just pretend you’re in Nashville, but after the apocalypse.”
–Travis Kelce, trying to convince Taylor Swift to move to Kansas City

You Hate To See It: The Player You Despise Most Did Something Noble For Poor People
Grrrr!! Who can stand when Aaron Rodgers, the player we all hate most, does some sort of noble act for the downtrodden? It’s an established fact that this dude is

Shotgun, Pistol, And Other Formations The Democrats Want To Take Away From You
While some members of Congress are busy serving Americans in productive ways, like working to put God back in our schools or making sure they don’t have to disclose their

Cowardly Running Back Won’t Risk Lifelong Neck Issues For Two Extra Yards
Seahawks fans showered Lumen Field with boos, insults, and projectiles this past week after running back Chris Carson displayed great cowardice in consistently refusing to risk lifelong neck issues for

Top Three Most Hated Current Commissioners Of The NFL
NFL commissioners are vile, loathsome creatures who deserve their annual draft day boo-fest. They enforce the rules, battle the NFL Players Association, oversee league expansion, and, generally speaking, carry out

Opinion: Taunting? All He Did Was Yell ‘Suck My Taint, You Limp-Dicked Motherfuckers!’ While Pretending To Teabag An Injured Player
Saturday’s suspension of 11-year-old Pop Warner linebacker Mikey Zuber for allegedly yelling “suck my taint, you limp-dicked motherfuckers!” to an injured tailback while pretending to teabag him is, to be

49ers Trade Jimmy Garoppolo To Calvin Klein
A pair of high-end assets are getting new threads. VOGUE and NFL Insiders reported today that the San Francisco 49ers have sent quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo to Calvin Klein in a

Debate Time: Can The Dallas Cowboys Still Be ‘America’s Team’ Even Though They’re Successful?
During the NFL’s lifetime, nothing has screamed “America” quite like Jerry Jones’ perennially optimistic, silver-and-blue-blooded Dallas Cowboys. But as the team has propelled itself to the top of every stats

Is Dan Snyder The NFL’s Biggest Monster Or Is That Title Shared With 75 Other People?
We all know that Dan Snyder, the Washington Football Team’s owner, is an irredeemable scumbag. But is Dan “the-racist-human-trafficking-man” Snyder really worthy of the top spot in the NFL’s All


