Debate Time: Can The Dallas Cowboys Still Be ‘America’s Team’ Even Though They’re Successful?

During the NFL’s lifetime, nothing has screamed “America” quite like Jerry Jones’ perennially optimistic, silver-and-blue-blooded Dallas Cowboys. But as the team has propelled itself to the top of every stats board this year and could be poised to win it all, the question needs to be asked: Can an organization this successful still be considered “America’s Team”?

Sure, greatness made sense back in the ‘90s, when Smith and Aikman led our ‘Boys to three Super Bowl wins in four years at the same time America’s modern tech sector emerged and we somehow balanced our national budget. But as soon as that dot-com bubble burst, Dubya choked on a peanut, and America fumbled its foray into Iraq, the Cowboys had the good sense to enter their own rapid, permanent decline along with the rest of this God-fearing nation like true patriots.

Compare that to 2021: While America is experiencing a looming housing crisis and some of the worst life expectancy metrics in the developed world, the Cowboys are basically doing a touchdown dance all over this country’s face. At a time when we’re 33rd in having our babies not die in our hospitals, is now really the time to be first in football? I don’t think so.

So listen, Cowboys: If you want to remain “America’s Team,” you have to remember what this nation is actually about. That means fourth-quarter interceptions, not touchdowns. That means poor clock management actually making you lose to the competition, versus just being a folksy, forgivable flaw. That means allowing your team to be ravaged by preventable disease instead of listening to science.

For your sake, I pray that you’re not planning on keeping this up and instead just having one good year to lull people into a false sense of hope before returning the standard football empire in decline. Because there’s nothing more American than that.