FOOTBALL

Bill Fan Starting To Think Jumping Through Tables Won’t Bring Lombardi Trophy Or Any Industry Back To His City

“The scary thing is, what that guy went through could happen to any of us.”
–Rob Gronkowski, on ‘Oppenheimer’

“The football’s soul and mine have merged. We are one. I am one. I am ball.”
–Aaron Rodgers, on his training regiment

New Law Requires Registered Arena Football Fans To Identify Themselves To Neighbors
Congress passed a new law Friday requiring all current and former Arena Football fans to identify themselves to neighbors within a 300-foot radius of their home. The Senate approved the

Bill Belichick Asks 40-Year-Old Daughter What 24-Year-Olds Are Into These Days
Despite being cool enough to land a twenty-something at 72, former Patriots head coach Bill Belichick turned to his 40-year-old daughter to fill in any knowledge gaps about what 24-year-olds

We Debate: Should Society Allow Special Teams Players To Have And Raise Children?
As we enter another voting day, there is no doubt our society, even the famously non-progressive NFL, has made huge strides towards inclusivity. But when it comes to Special Teams

‘All Dogs Go To Heaven’ And 5 Other Films Gronk Thinks Got Passed Over For The Oscar
Sports Riot sat down with former tight end and noted film connoisseur Rob Gronkowski to get his take on the biggest snubs in Oscar history. Drawing from classic cinema to

Report: Aaron Rodgers Will Not Commit To A Peaceful Transfer Of Power
In what many watchdogs are calling a disturbing deviation from standard NFL norms, sources from inside the Jets organization are reporting that quarterback Aaron Rodgers has not indicated he will

How To Fuck Your Way To The Top Of Your Office Fantasy Football League
The office fantasy football league is cutthroat, which is why you’re going to deep-throat your way into the playoffs. When your team sucks, you start blowing. When the going gets

Rehab Doctor Also Giving Deshaun Watson Shock Therapy Just To See What It Does
Deshaun Watson, star quarterback for the Cleveland Browns, is currently and crucially mid-rehab-assignment for his $200Mil achilles. Watson’s rehab physician, Dr. Faker Mayfield M.D., has built a modern turnaround schedule

Report: London Vows to Retaliate Against America if They Keep Sending Jacksonville Jaguars
Tensions are mounting between London and the United States after the UK’s Prime Minister issued a stark warning claiming they will be left with no other choice but to retaliate





