Hear Us Out: The Carolinas Should Get A Pro Football Team

Okay: We know the Carolinas are college-basketball country, with Duke and UNC men’s in the North and USC women’s in the South. And we know all about the Durham Bulls and the Clemson Tigers and a little about Myrtle Beach Pelicans (baseball) and the Greenville Swamp Rabbits (hockey). We’ve heard all about the homegrown talent: Michael Jordan, Dale Earnhardt, Daniel “Dimes” Jones, et cetera, et cetera. But here’s a question we feel nobody’s asking: What about Carolina football? Could it ever catch on? 

We here at Sports Riot really feel that it could: that with so many other sports flying around—hear us out—there could actually be a pro football team in North or South Carolina. 

Run a finger down I-95 and you’ll find an embarrassing gulf between Washington, D.C., and Atlanta. So much room! We’re thinking we put the team somewhere in smack-dab near the central border: Gastonia, N.C.? Rock Hill, S.C.? We’ll figure it out. Then we give the team a first-round pick—maybe a Heisman winner from Auburn—and just watch the sparks fly! Call us crazy, but we really think “Carolina Football” could be a thing. 

The mascot will have to pay tribute to Carolina’s wildlife—something like the Carolina Cottonmouths or the Carolina Coyotes. Oops! The Coyotes were already a hockey team! Well, of course the NFL wouldn’t just pluck a mascot from pro hockey! Ha! Maybe some kind of large-cat predator that’s virtually extinct. We’ll get back to you. 

The point is, a pro football team could really generate a lot of excitement in the Carolinas – we all know they’re terribly bored and have nothing else going on. We believe that with a functional head office, great coaching decisions, and a robust offensive line, the Carolina Confederates (working title!) will dominate the NFC South. 

…ESPECIALLY if they can get a hold of a once-in-a-lifetime QB talent like Bryce Young