An Apology From Our Editors: The Chicago Black Sox Were Not ‘Ruthlessly Gunned Down’ By Al Capone
The year was 1919, and Sports Riot, while young, was not incapable of error. Holed up on the fourth floor offices of SRHQ Chicago, our sweating, heavily drinking editors made the mistake of printing a frontpage headline describing not only the conspiracy indictment but also grisly murder of the eight players involved in that year’s Chicago Black Sox scandal—the latter at the hands of gangster-businessman Al Capone.
The article, originally published on November 1, asserts that Capone mowed down all eight members accused of throwing that year’s World Series as they walked out of Comiskey Park. Capone was said to have stepped out of his bulletproof Town Sedan, leveled his Tommy gun, and unloaded until the ballplayers were strewn about the ramp.
But advanced research technology and new DNA evidence recently shot holes in the story, revealing several incongruities in what the article considered the “Black Sox Massacre.” First, Capone at the time was in his luxury home in Miami Beach. Second, it wasn’t a “hot August night”: the Black Sox weren’t indicted until October of that year. Third, Capone did not play third base and hit cleanup for the Washington Senators.
“You have to remember, this was pre-Prohibition,” said baseball historian John Thorn. “Editors back then, especially in the sports racket, drank sixteen hours a day and often confused sports headlines for modern news stories. Sports Riot editors in particular liked to wave around firearms and shoot at the ceiling. This particular editor was probably hopped up on a mix of Schlitz, glue, and catnip.”
Over a hundred years have passed since the error, but our journalistic integrity prevents us from letting it go. So we at Sports Riot, still on the fourth floor; still sweating, drinking, and waving firearms; would like to extend our sincerest apology for this erstwhile error. Al Capone did not “ruthlessly gun down” eight members of the Chicago Black Sox.
It was John Dillinger.
