FOOTBALL
Someone Should Tell Him Rob Gronkowski Currently Under Impression He’s Still Being Filmed For ‘Man In The Arena’
“My cousin has not sucked my dick yet.”
–Trevor Lawrence, on the remaining Jacksonville traditions to embrace
“I have changed my mind about the vaccine.”
–Aaron Rodgers, immediately after touching an MTA Subway pole for the first time
“The rules only state a 53-MAN roster, Ol’ Slick Jerry found himself a loophole.”
–Jerry Jones, on his controversial use of child labor
NFL RedZone Success Inspires NASCAR CrashZone
If there’s one thing NASCAR fans can’t get enough of, it’s the heart-pounding, adrenaline-pumping, metal-bending, high-speed collisions that make the sport so special. That’s why this Monday NASCAR officials unveiled
Cleveland Found To Finally Be Thriving Without Sports
As the COVID-19 pandemic continues to cripple America’s economy there is little left to get excited about. Sports are certainly not one of the “exciting” topics as they’ve been cancelled
Elon Musk Announces Plan To Make L.A. Chargers Obsolete In Under Four Years
Announcing the next phase in his multi-business energy plan, Elon Musk told a crowd of shareholders at Tesla HQ that he is developing the technology to make the Los Angeles
NFL Discovers Thousands Of Tapes Of You Cooking Dinner Filmed By The Patriots
A year-long investigation into the New England Patriots by NFL culinary agents has revealed in a bombshell report that the franchise has been filming you cook dinner for years and
Kirk Cousins Benched For More Experienced Kirk Uncles
In a surprise move, the Minnesota Vikings have announced that they are benching veteran quarterback Kirk Cousins in favor of far-more-veteran quarterback, Kirk Uncles.⠀ “I mean, it makes sense. I
Suddenly Charitable NFL Player Must Have Done Something Horrible
Following a particularly philanthropic day, fans of star Broncos wide receiver Marcel Voight have become suspicious that the suddenly charitable NFL player must have done something horrible. Voight, who has
Lifelong St. Louis Rams Fan Just Wants To Witness One 10.0-Rated Los Angeles Earthquake Before He Dies
There’s only one item on lifelong St. Louis Rams fan David Harbrook’s bucket list: to see a 10.0-rated earthquake lay waste to the city of Los Angeles. Writing on his
NFL Owners Finally Able To Enjoy Jumbotron Pornography In Peace
While the novel coronavirus continues to impact everyday life, there have been some bright spots for athletes, who now spend more time with their families. For NFL owners, it’s provided