FOOTBALL
“I have changed my mind about the vaccine.”
–Aaron Rodgers, immediately after touching an MTA Subway pole for the first time
“The rules only state a 53-MAN roster, Ol’ Slick Jerry found himself a loophole.”
–Jerry Jones, on his controversial use of child labor
“Heh Heh. Do you guys remember the ‘butt punt’?”
–Dan Snyder, on that time he kicked a cheerleader to death
“Approximately 72 school children can fit inside me.”
–Jerome Bettis, on how he got his “The Bus” nickname
Study: Gender Disparity In Sports Journalism Linked Back To Most Women Not Want To Waste Their Lives
The “Harvard Business Review” released a study Thursday attributing the current gender disparity in sports journalism to women not wanting to completely waste their lives on trivial and inconsequential nonsense.
Tom Brady Can Come Back From Retirement, So Can My Lazy 82-Year-Old Father
Tom Brady — Excellence. Dedication. Sacrifice. My 82-year old dad? Lazy. Bottom-percentile measurables. Retired since 2007. Tom Brady was only retired for a month, so I think the fifteen years
Star Struck: I Just Met Ray Lewis At Knifepoint And Didn’t Know What To Say
It was Friday night in Miami and I rear-ended the Aston Martin in front of me. When I approached the other car to trade insurance information, out stepped former legendary
Adam Schefter Issues Preemptive Apology For Whatever He’s About To Say About Next Athlete’s Death
Following public outcry over his tweet about the death of Pittsburgh Steelers QB Dwyane Haskins, ESPN’s Adam Schefter issued a long-awaited formal preemptive apology for whatever he’s about to say regarding the next major athlete death. “Composing a single tweet about an athlete’s death would
Proactive Lions First-Round Pick Starts Studying To Get Real Estate License
Miles Campbell grew up dreaming of playing in the NFL. Now, after the Detroit Lions selected him with their first-round pick, the college stalwart continues to look ahead to
Jacksonville Jaguars GM Mulls Over Which Prospect To Ruin With No. 1 Pick
Sources close to Jacksonville Jaguars general manager Trent Baalke have reported that the team seems tantalizingly close to finalizing which college football player’s life they will decide to irrevocably destroy
Finally: The NFL Released a Statement Denying Pat Tillman Died of CTE
Nearly 20 years after Pat Tillman’s death, the NFL has finally clarified the former Arizona Cardinals safety did not die of CTE while on patrol in Afghanistan. Commissioner Roger
Wow! NFL Star Only 3 Yards Away From Breaking Another Restraining Order
Having already smashed the NFL’s record for Class A misdemeanors, wide receiver Cooper Chase stands only three yards away from breaking an incredible eleventh restraining order in a single season.
