Hear Us Out: Aaron Rodgers And The Packers Reconcile Their Differences And Also My Parents Get Back Together

Aaron Rodgers is back with the Pack for another year, but his relationship with management is incredibly strained. So wouldn’t it be great if the two sides could sit down, air their grievances, and work out a way for them to stay happily together and also the same thing happened to my parents?

Packers fans have had their fair share of disappointments, like the infamous “4th and 26” play, the existence of Kevin King, or that time their parents wouldn’t stop yelling at each other in the car and their dad pulled over to the side of the highway and stormed off into a field when I was seven. We’ve seen positive signs of recovery—like stopping the Bucs at midfield with one play left before halftime or an agreement to marriage counseling—be painfully snatched away from us. Given what we’ve suffered through, you’d think this split wouldn’t affect us so deeply.

But you’d be wrong. Packers fans have had a pretty sheltered existence, remember, and our fragile, developing minds can only handle so much occasional adversity. So how could Rodgers and the Packers do this to us when we haven’t seen the Lombardi Trophy in over ten years, or had a Christmas with both sides of the family in the same house in over fifteen?

And what about choosing sides? Rodgers was there to teach us how to toss a perfect spiral, how to say ‘no’ to toxic family members, and how to give an answer in the form of a question. And after being so important in our lives for so long, you’re saying he’s suddenly just not going to be there when we get to Lambeau Field in the morning? And we’re supposed to just accept that?

Well, we won’t. It’s time the Packers and Rodgers and also Leslie and Peter Newhouse of Stevens Point, WI got their act together and realized that there are more than just themselves involved in this relationship.

Mom, Dad, Aaron. Please don’t do this to me.