Two Bengals Season Tickets Open Up After Andy Dalton’s Parents Finally Accept Their Son For Who He Is

It’s a parent’s worst nightmare: your child has a serious problem, and despite all your efforts to lend them quarterback assistance, they cannot overcome it. Unfortunately for the parents of Andy Dalton, this nightmare has become reality, leading them to announce this week they will sell their Bengals season tickets. 

“We love our son, and we accept him for the mid-level-quarterback-that’ll-never-win-a-playoff-game that he is, but at a certain point, we’re enabling. We cannot stand by and watch him do this to himself, thus we have placed our season tickets on StubHub,” Greg and Tina Dalton said in a press release this week. 

“We invited his family and friends to explain to Andy how his actions affected us. We didn’t know how else to get him to admit he has a problem,” Greg Dalton said, adding that he knew his son hit rock bottom when he discovered Dalton working out with Kirk Cousins.

“We all have our demons, but we knew by the company he was keeping that he obviously wasn’t ready to make a change on his own,” Greg Dalton said. “That’s when we decided to cut him off until he gets better. They’re great seats by the way.”  

“This is his cross to bear, and I just want my baby to get better. I’d also like to have something good to say when Galynn Brady brags about her son Tom at book club,” Tina Dalton said.

The Daltons’ tickets are reportedly pretty sweet, located in the team’s family box and feature free parking, food, and drinks. They are available now on StubHub at 30% below face value.