Quotes
“It’s a difficult time, but we’ll all get through this together.”
–Jerry Jones, on Black History Month
March 28, 2024
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“Kids these days — they just don’t want to work.”
-101-year-old Bears owner Virginia McCaskey, on Mitch McConnell stepping down
March 28, 2024
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“I am a child. I am a little boy. Milk please!”
–Kyle Shanahan, enduring another post-Super Bowl psychotic episode
March 28, 2024
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“I believe those refer to the original Eight Colonies.”
–Rob Gronkowski, on what the start in the NFL logo represent
March 28, 2024
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“I’m terrified of a dark future where players become self-aware.”
–Roger Goodell, unprompted
March 28, 2024
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“Now I’ll never forget!”
–Rob Gronkowski, on legally changing his name to ‘Gronk Gronkgronki’
March 28, 2024
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“Taylor Swift Is A PsyOP on vaccine-injured sheep!”
–Aaron Rodgers, to a frightened CVS cashier
March 28, 2024
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“It’s an honor to be a leader, and I take my role very seriously.”
–Josh Allen, on becoming a mod of the Dragon Ball Z subreddit
March 27, 2024
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“When I fired Bill, he pulled out his hip sword and tried to commit seppuki.”
–Robert Kraft, terminating Bill Belichick
March 27, 2024
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“I don’t own the Cowboys. All of America does! But, yes, I do own all the players.”
–Jerry Jones
March 27, 2024
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