Quotes

–Dan Campbell, describing his masturbation technique

–Tua Tagovailoa, answering the question “How would you describe your brain?”

–Mac Jones, on getting the starting QB job in Jacksonville

–Rob Gronkowski

–Caleb Williams, failing a concussion test

–Roger Goodell, on the NFL’s post-election slogan

–Gronk, on Santa Clause

–Virginia McCaskey, on her body count

–Aaron Judge, striking out

–Aaron Rodgers

–Roger Goodell, asked how many streaming services fans need to watch the NFL

–Sauce Gardner, when he has to sit next to Aaron Rodgers on a flight

–Patrick Mahomes, chucking the ball behind his back for a flawlessly executed 80-yard touchdown