Athlete Makes Up For Troubling Allegations With Stellar Season

In a heartwarming redemption story, a star studded Houston Astros roster claims to make up for their regrettable on and  off-the-field behavior with a stellar statistical season that will help propel their team to the World Series glory, again. 

“What happened in the last two years was both alarming and incredibly sad,” said Astros star player Jose Altuve while speaking to reporters. “But what will happen this year is a World Series, and that’s at least as good as what we did was bad.”

The Astros say they considered volunteering in the community or donating part of their salary to demonstrate their remorse, but ultimately decided that the best way to show the world they’ve changed is on the baseball field.

“At the end of the day, would I rather be remembered as a good person or a great baseball player?” Alex Bregman wondered on Twitter before concluding, “There’s no good people hall of fame.” When pressed during an AMA on Twitter if the Astros would stick to the rules this year Bregman replied, “No comment #WorldSeriesBaby”