Fuck: We Just Asked Aaron Rodgers A Question And Now He’s Reflecting

Okay, so this one’s probably on us. Everyone knows the first rule of journalism is “Never ask Aaron Rodgers a question.” Well, we did and — holy shit — he’s now reflecting.  

How did we get caught in his little spiderweb of self-regard? We were setting up to interview Steelers’ receiver DK Metcalf, and absent mindedly our intern asked where the bathroom was. “We’re all looking for the bathroom,” came a voice from a corner of the locker room. “The bathroom of life.” 

 

That’s when we knew it was too late. We were trapped. 

 

The dark figure became one-time Super Bowl champion Aaron Rodgers. He gestured for us to sit and set his forehead in his hands. Oh, fucky-fuck-FUCK, we thought. 

“I was reflecting on the work of a philosopher this morning, during my meditations. Now, when I say ‘morning,’ do you think I mean ‘morning’ with an ‘o’ or ‘mourning’ with a ‘u’?” We guessed it was with an “o.” “Touché,” he said. 

According to Rodgers, the philosopher had said everything is either a learn or a win. “There is no ‘loss.’ ” 

 

When asked who said this — Aristhenes? Hildegard? — Rodgers shook his head. “McAfee,” he said.  

We decided the best way to beat him was to give in. We took a deep breath and asked, “What’s your touchdown-to-interception ration?” 

“Great question,” Rodgers smiled. “Such an amazing question – it’s almost like I asked it. Honestly, if I were a reporter, I’d be you asking me that very question.” 

He added: “Such a good question.” 

 

When he asked us to repeat the question, we were ready for him. 

“Who’s your wife?” we said. 

To which he said, “Interview over.”