LeBron Lives Up To ‘King James’ Nickname By Releasing His Own Authorized Version Of The Bible

LeBron James announced today in a press conference held on the parapets of his new $36.75 million castle in Los Angeles that he has taken his talents to biblical scholarship in releasing his own authorized version of the King James Bible.

“I have a responsibility to live up to the title given to me by God,” King James told reporters while donning his four championship rings as well as his gold and purple crown. “And now it’s my turn to rewrite this sacred text for the people of my courts.”

The majority of the new bible is set to focus on Michael Jordan and his disciples. “I may be King, but he is the Holy Father,” King James said. “He ascended into the heavens to film ‘Space Jam,’ and then returned in all his glory for three more championships. And now we await his Second Coming.”

The King acknowledged that some believe he is, in fact, the Second Coming of Michael Jordan. “This is not true. Thy Lord of Air’s empire was far grander. He reigned over the league for the final six full seasons he played for the Bulls,” King James said. “My superior rebounding and slight edge as a playmaker can’t make up for that. Not even close.”

Though never much of a team player, The King has commanded the help of his subjects such as Kyrie Irving to assist him in spicing up old bible stories with JFK conspiracy theories and some incoherent rants about the meaning of art.

The new King James Bible will be bound in Spalding’s choicest leather and include coupons for free medium Sprites at participating Blaze Pizzas.