NFL Announces Super Bowl LVI To Be A Best-Of-Three Series

After the addition of an 18th week in regular play netted the NFL countless millions in profit, the league has announced the Super Bowl will become a best-of-three series.

Commissioner Roger Goodell announced the news via Zoom from what appeared to be the construction site of a new Tuscan-style mansion. “The games are scheduled to be played over a six-week period, with two weeks in between each matchup,” said Goodell over the roar of a private helicopter landing on a helipad. “This new money…I mean, format…will prove to be three-times better than the money…I mean, original.”

Goodell went on to say that each game will have the same, high-caliber halftime shows. “Of course, we have Dr. Dre, Snoop, Eminem, Mary J. Blige, and Kendrick Lamar for the first show. Limp Bizkit is a ‘maybe’ for the second, and we have on good authority that the guy who did ‘Informer’ in ’92 will do the third.”

While some industries are excited at the prospect of three Super Bowls — like sports bars and chip dip companies — others are more skeptical. Chief Marketing Director of Budweiser, Marcel Marcondes, for example, doubts the company can afford a tripled ad budget, let alone procure enough Clydesdales on such short notice.

To remedy concerns, Goodell says the NFL will charge viewers to access commercials for the second and third games, splitting profits with advertisers. “Let’s face it, the commercials are almost as popular as the game itself. I’m surprised we didn’t think of this money…I mean, sooner!”

Depending on the success of the NFL’s experiment, NBA commissioner Adam Silver has expressed interest in pivoting to a 20-game series for each round of the NBA playoffs.