Top 5 Sickest, In-Your-Face, No-Coming-Back-From-That Gentle Finger-Rolls Of All Time

Many a professional basketball player has woken up in a cold sweat dreaming of the nightmare that getting gentle finger-rolled on is. Getting posterized by a world-class athlete who opts for a gentle touch instead of brute force is not just demeaning, but also emotionally traumatic. Here is Sports Riot’s list of the Top five sickest, in-your-face, no-coming-back-from-that gentle finger-rolls of all time:

  1. Gary Payton’s “Double Butterfly”

Gary “the Glove” Payton wasn’t just known for his defense. He also had the ability to throw down a finger-roll as ridiculous and confrontational as it was disrespectful. The “double butterfly” aka “throwin’ a dub” has sent countless defenders to seek counseling.

  1. John Stockton’s “Floating Tissue”

Referred to as the “floating tissue” for the soft, meandering way it dropped through the net, Stockton threw down a straight-up showstopper in Ron Harper’s face during the ’98 Finals.

  1. Shaquille O’Neal’s “Backboard Kisser”

Could Shaq have slammed it home and shattered the glass? Sure. Did he? No. In 1994 against the Rockets, Mr. O’Neal subtly kissed the ball against the backboard after releasing it from his finger’s sensual embrace. With the deftest of touches, “Big Diesel” did the nasty on a wide open breakaway.

  1. MJ’s Half-Court 360 Reverse Finger-Roll

You didn’t think that last scene in Space Jam wasn’t based on reality did you? In 1990, his Airness launched from half-court, completed a full rotation in Byron Scott’s face, and lobbed up an underhand layup for three points.

  1. Magic Johnson’s “Dream Team Surprise”

It wouldn’t be a list of God damn finger-rolls without Magic fucking Johnson. During the ‘92 Games, Magic couldn’t help himself and dominated Dembe Akello with a sweet lil’ nothing of a layup from two feet away. Who is Dembe Akello you ask? Well, he used to play for Uganda until he was humiliated on an international scale. He never recovered from that shot. He tore his achilles, his wife left him, and was ostracized from the community.

Well there you have it. Stay tuned for next week’s list of Top Five bloodiest Little League World Series brawls