FIFA Peace Prize Modeled After Hands Of Workers Who Died Building Qatar Soccer Stadiums

Following President Donald Trump’s reception of the inaugural FIFA Peace Prize, new information has revealed the trophy to be modeled after the hands of the thousands of migrant workers who died building soccer stadiums in Qatar over the last dozen years, in what the international soccer organization called a “forced, inescapable labor of love.” 

“If you hear people around the world, they’re all saying this thing is magnificent. The most beautiful trophy. But I’ll tell you, it wasn’t easy to get — nobody talks about it, but I had to give an arm and a leg to win this,” remarked Trump. “Which, if you think about it, is pretty ridiculous considering my administration practically funded these hands. But nonetheless, the fine people at FIFA had to sort through many, many piles of rubble and bones to create this prize for me. It’s a great honor.”

It’s not only the current White House occupant fawning over the shiny memento. FIFA president Gianni Infantino took the opportunity to explain how the cadaver-inspired design “perfectly represents” the organization as a whole.

“At FIFA, our core motto is ‘Football unites the world,’” declared Infantino. “That belief is reflected in this recognition, as we utilized the extremities of those from Kenya, to Bangladesh, all the way to the Philippines–any place where their citizens are hungry for an honest day’s unpaid work and have easily confiscatable passports.” 

“I’m also grateful for the hard work the creators of our beautiful trophy put into this,” continued the FIFA official. “I mean, the time alone it took to sift through all the hands just to find the adult ones is an effort to be proud of.” 

The gold-plated piece is now said to be sitting in a place of honor within the Oval Office. Specifically, right between an inspirational signed portrait of a shirtless Vladimir Putin and the little-known Nestlé Ethics Award.