An Early Look At The Top Draft Prospects Of 2035

While the excitement of the NFL draft may be in the books, it’s never too early to look ahead into the next decade and examine the young talent that’s working its way up the grade-school pipeline! Without further ado, here are the top prospects of the 2035 NFL Draft.

Jamie Kapellotis

This 12-year-old pocket passer may not have started going through puberty yet, but he already possesses the mental acuity of a 14-year-old Peyton Manning. Bright, agile, and able to read at a 9th-grade level, the only thing this beast is being grounded for playing too much Xbox. The only question is, with Jamie getting straight happy faces in both math and social studies, is this kid too smart to be an effective quarterback?

Brandon Oban, Jr.

In addition to having two parents well over 6 feet tall, Brandon Oban Jr. is far and away the strongest kid in his P.E. class. This Pokemon superfan has all the tools to become a great defensive end. An absolute powerhouse out on the playground, Brandon has raised eyebrows among scouts for his signature move of sitting on one end of the seesaw and not letting his friends come down from the other side until the end of recess. Is that bullying? His teachers seem to think so, but it’s that innate stubbornness that will one day make him the perfect edge rusher for a 4-3 defense.

D’Won Powell

Young D’Won Powell has always seemed like a sure thing, that is until he threw a massive temper tantrum in February after spilling his apple juice. It makes you wonder: was the pressure of being an elementary school prodigy what caused him to crack? We tried to get fifteen minutes alone with Powell during his lunch period to get to the bottom of this, but a security guard told us he would call the police if we didn’t exit school property.