Are The Orioles For Real? Like, Is That Really A Team?
By Anthony Gable, investigative reporter
As Major League Baseball remains mysteriously paused, we’ve decided to examine some of the oldest urban legends surrounding America’s past time beginning with the alleged existence of a franchise named the Baltimore Orioles.
I spoke with a reporter from The Baltimore Sun and explained there are franchises named after a bird that’s not the St. Louis Cardinals, one of which happens to play just 45 minutes outside the nation’s capital.
I pressed him to verify this claim, adding they’re never in conversation about potential sleeper picks, and no one ever talks about their players.
“Are you, the Orioles, for real? Like, are you, the Orioles, really a team?” I asked.
“Yes, now stop calling,” he responded before abruptly ending the call. Maybe he’d been compromised by the Orioles; our conversation no doubt placed him in danger.
But why Baltimore Orioles? Is it because the oriole is the national bird? Because Edgar Allen Poe famously wrote the poem The Oriole? Why is the baseball world so silent about the team allegedly residing at Camden Yards? The rabbit hole goes deeper than I thought and I decided to obtain answers from the source.
Walking past Camden Yards, it’s evident this stadium had been vacated for a while. How long ago did this team disappear? Teams don’t just disappear. How far did this conspiracy go? Furthermore, fans in Baltimore were bewildered and taken aback when I inquired about their supposed hometown team. It’s as if the fans were remembering an old friend, or a long forgotten secret that I’d get to the bottom of.
“Of course, there’s a baseball team in Baltimore. It’s the Ravens,” one man told me. He was even wearing a team sweatshirt.
Upon hours of investigation, research, and investigative-reporting-gumption it turns out Baltimore does have a baseball team, but contrary to all the deception, it’s pretty clear to see that Cal Ripken Jr. did play baseball in Baltimore; it was just for the Baltimore Ravens.
